I Used to Believe my Anger had Power

I was a huge Bruce Springsteen fan. I related strongly to his lyrics, like for instance, this bit from Promised Land:

Photo by Michael Krahn on Unsplash

Sometimes I feel so weak I just want to explode
Explode and tear this whole town apart
Take a knife and cut this pain from my heart
Find somebody itching for something to start

In other words, I believed my anger had power. Anger could rescue me. Like a four-year-old wearing a Superman cape, I felt weak but the cape bestowed power.

Even now, sometimes, just for a moment, anger wells up inside and I mistake it for power. But quickly I remember it’s fool’s gold. So I just notice and let it go its way.

Occasionally, in morning meditation, all I can do is watch uncomfortable feelings surface. I still call it a good meditation — better than identifying with them.